New Shoes For The Prince

At recent occupational therapy session:

OT:   Hi Caelen, shall we stack some blocks today?

         (Showing C how to stack)

C:     (looking eager takes a block and throws at therapist)

OT:   Nooo... let's try again

         (Holds C's hand and stacks a block together)

OT:   Yay! Your turn! 

         (showing encouragement to spur C on)

C:     (picks up a block and throws it across the table)

C:     Yay! Your turn! (with great enthusiasm)

All:   LOL!!

Physiotherapy was entirely the opposite with C crying throughout. Therapist tried something new with him though (as shown in pic below).

This is to test his tolerance for standing upright, supposedly good for his lungs, secretions drainage, digestion etc. It is not fully upright as this is C's first attempt so the incline is approx 60° - 70°. He's obviously not enjoying any bit of it. Even his favourite ball couldn't pacify him.

Due to his condition, therapist had also suggested that we start looking into limb orthotics to manage any misalignment that may arise due to muscle weakness.

Current condition of his feet

A good start would be to acquire AFO for his feet. A custom made pair would cost us $500. This would be my assignment for August - to book an appointment with the specialist and get his 'shoes' done.

P.S. : 2nd hospitalization bill came, another $3,500. His less than 2 weeks stay in June cost us a total of $15,000 >_<||| Seriously need to work hard to keep C healthy!

A Porcelain Doll

An accident at the car park this afternoon.

I have always been very careful handling C all these while but made a grave mistake today - for losing my concentration, for taking my eyes off him. I was carrying C when I took a second to talk to hubby. C lost his balance and fell backwards. The next thing I knew, he was no longer leaning on my shoulder but his entire body and head hanging in mid-air and I was just holding on to the lower half of his body hip down. Fear took over me. I watched him burst into tears and the following seconds felt like eternity. I hugged him close and cried uncontrollably.

Worried sick and unwillingly, I laid him on the back seat, waited for some responses. C was still crying and I wasn't sure if it's due to the shock or if he was hurt. My hands were shaking so bad as I turned him to his side checking for signs of injury, bruising, pain and breathing difficulty. At the same time rattling to my hubby amidst sobs that I was so scare, didn't know what to do, didn't know if he was hurt, that we should forget about meeting my sister & family, go to the hospital instead.

Few minutes passed and nothing. I could not find anything conclusive but that did not convince me C was fine even though he was back to his usual self, laughing and playing. The horrific thought of C sustaining a spine or neck injury; the guilt for letting it happened did not go away. For the entire day, I was haunted by it. I think this guilt and paranoia would stay for a while.

After we reached our destination and while hubby was unloading our barang barang, I took the opportunity to explain to Cayla that I was frightened by the incident and I was sorry for screaming at her earlier. She nodded her head and shared that she was frightened too by what happened. There was a brief silence in the car before Cayla popped a question “Mommy, why 弟弟 (little brother) cannot walk?" That took me by surprise and I was lost for words, got emotional and cried non-stop.

This aside...

We received the bill for C's first hospitalisation. A whopping $11,500.00 for a 9-day stay. That was before the government grant, Medishield coverage and Medisave deduction. Imagine us without any of these, we would probably be in debt for a long time. Anyway, am grateful that the grant and insurance took care of a substantial amount; that we have adequate funds in Medisave to offset the few thousand dollars and that the upfront cash payment was kept to a minimal $100. But how long can our Medisave sustain us, I wondered. Still waiting for the second bill to come, possibly another few thousand dollars.

For now, I rather spend my time worrying about C. I am praying that he will be ok.